Advantaged White Male

Some of my life-lessons were learned during a singular and very specific event – a date, time, and place I will never forget. Some of my life-lessons took years to learn. And for some of my life-lessons, the class has not yet been dismissed.

I am proud to state that long ago I learned that everyone deserves to be respected. Long ago I learned that everyone deserves to be appreciated. And I have believed for a very long time that we are far more alike than we are unalike.

Regardless our race, our gender, our religion (or lack thereof), and our ethnicity, we all share the same needs, the same wants, and the same ideals. And in the words of John F. Kennedy: “We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal."

For a long time I have also known that I am special – that I am advantaged. Yes, it’s true – I am an advantaged White male. A circumstance for which I am not proud. A circumstance for which I am often ashamed to admit.

Without question, being a White male should not make me special – but it does. For my entire life I have enjoyed the perks of this most obvious distinction.

I have never been spoken to in a hateful, hurtful way. I have never been stopped on the street because I looked suspicious. I doubt that I will ever be choked, by law enforcement, to the point of being unable to breathe. And I am equally sure that I will never be shot multiple times in the back because a police officer with a gun feared for his life.

Of course, I am also advantaged by another most obvious distinction. I am a male, not a female – a boy, not a girl – a man, not a woman. In many respects, this distinction affords me far more privilege than does being White.

I have never considered for a moment that I might be kidnapped while going for an early morning walk. I have never feared for a minute that after going on a date my body might be found lying face down in a ditch. I have never pondered for a second that I might be raped – only to have my attacker insist it was consensual.

Am I white? Yes I am. Am I a male? Yes I am. Should either of these distinctions make me advantaged? Absolutely not – no way, shape or form. Regrettably, all too often, the nightly news begs to differ. To be considered advantaged for either of those distinctions is wholly and totally unacceptable. Once again, stories on the evening news, on far too regular a basis, offers gruesome details to the contrary.

I wish there was an easy solution. I wish everyone could be respectful and considerate of everyone else. Unfortunately, bad people do bad things, good people do bad things, and bad things happen to good people.

So, to all those boys and men who are not advantaged such as I am – I am so sorry. It frustrates me to no end, when I watch or read a story about your plight simply because you are not White like me.

Boys and men – you probably already know – if your skin ain’t White, you are the obvious suspect when something bad happens – and you are guilty until proven innocent. And nine times out of ten, the ‘system’ favors the police officer who fears for his life, regardless the circumstances.

And to all those girls and women who are victimized – I am so saddened. My heart breaks and I am overcome with grief when I watch or read about the crimes committed upon you simply because you are not a male like I am

Girls and women – when taking an early morning walk, bring alone a well-trained “companion” who knows exactly what to do when you say: “Sic’em.” Never let someone you don’t know really well buy you a drink or offer to take you somewhere. And as for the ‘R’ word – trust your instincts – have an escape plan, for each and every scenario. Better to be safe than sorry (or much worse).

I really, really didn’t want to write this story. I really, really wish there weren’t so many ugly, tragic stories in the news. I wish we lived in a place and a time void of such horrible stuff. Sadly, wishing doesn’t make it so. The life you save may be your own.