Onward and Downward
As for me, the bursting of that bubble will have to wait for another day. Sometimes the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth can be a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth requires the right time and the right place. That said, now and here is not the right time or the right place.
As a side note, it should go without saying that most, if not all of us, live two lives. There is the public life, and there is the behind-the-scenes life. When mom and dad divorced, some of their close friends admitted that they suspected something. Others said that they had no idea.
Tunneling a bit deeper down that darn rabbit hole, I must have happened upon a rock. My path took one of those turns that my mind is famous for taking. Inexplicably, Jeff Daniels came to mind. Yes, I know, it’s weird! I cannot explain it. You just gotta go with it, trusting that somehow, in the end, it will all make sense.
First and foremost, Jeff Daniels is an incredibly versatile actor whose stage, film, and television career spans over five decades. Recently, while watching “cat” videos, I discovered that he has also written over 450 original songs. Further, he has released six full-length albums. Wow.
Admittedly, such a revelation should not have come as such a shock. We all have talents that often go unrecognized. (I am an amazing author of short stories, but not a single publisher has come knocking on my door.) Talents for which sometimes even our closest friends and family members are unaware. The shock on
Kelly Clarkson’s face when she discovered Jeff Daniels’ musical skills was truly a priceless moment.
Lessons Learned
The Jeff Daniels original song,
“The Good on the Bad Side of Town,” really tugged on my heartstrings. Jeff Daniels said the song is about “things that my father said, or could have said, or probably did say…” After watching the video a couple of times, I concluded that our father never said those things to me. Once again, the rabbit hole went a bit deeper, then took another turn. I knew that I probably shouldn’t go there, but go there I did.
Yep, I searched Google for
“things fathers tell their sons.” As stated above, I couldn’t resist. Now, to be fair, I suspect that a goo-gob of fathers falls woefully short in this fatherly duty. Regrettably, unfortunately, I included. Truly a growth opportunity.
My father’s Golden Rule was, “Do as I say, not as I do.” One I remember all too well. And one he recited far too many times. Being a man of few words, my father was one who, moreover fatherly chats, led by example. The tricky part being some examples you emulate while some examples you avoid. Figuring out which was which was the challenging part. Some lessons were obvious in seconds, some took a little more time and a little more maturing.
One more scoop of the shovel and I left the rabbit hole behind. Once again, I found myself face-to-face with the same conclusion. The same conclusion that has stared me in the face over and over these past fifty-plus years.
It Is What It Is
Yes, it would have been nice to have had a nurturing father. A father who guided me over all of life’s potholes and speed bumps. A father who kept me on the straight and narrow. Alas, if only life worked that way. If only life were that easy. After all, a son is going to do what a son is going to do, no matter the fatherly advice. Yes, I am speaking from experience. As a son and as a father.
Somehow, we still learn life’s lessons. Sometimes from our fathers and sometimes from others. Whether by examples of what to do or by examples of what not to do, we still know. We still know that we can choose acceptance, or we can choose avoidance. Likewise, we still know that we can choose to be a racist or we can choose to be tolerant. Ultimately, we still know the difference between right and wrong.
Likewise, we still know we cannot blame our father (or the dog) when we fail. We still know that learning never ends. The right path is not always the easy path. We still know that we will never be perfect.
In the end, I hope that others will say I should be proud of the life I lived. Hopefully, they never say, “What a shameful life he lived.” By the same token, it would be really cool if they said, “Wow, what a mind.”
