My Tip On Tipping

No Whining Around Here

If you have read all, or even most of, the stories before this one, you should notice one factoid. This platform isn’t about whining and complaining about all the stuff that raises my dander. If it were, the whining and complaining stories would most surely outnumber the positive, motivational stories two or threefold. It should be obvious by now. That is just not my thing. That said, my tip on tipping could very easily go either way.

Along about here, you are probably expecting the big “BUT.” Nope, no BUTs. Likewise, no BUTTs either. The challenge, therefore, before the last period in this story, I have to turn a negative into a positive. I think I can, I think I can.

In “Be The Reason,” I mentioned that Judy and I had just celebrated our 50-something or other wedding anniversary. Well, the week right afterwards, we celebrated Judy’s something or other birthday. For obvious reasons, I will refrain from divulging the precise number of birthdays Judy has celebrated.

We went to one of those upscale restaurants that had “hooked us” with their recent advertising campaign. One of the items on their menu harkened us back to a trip we had taken many, many years ago. Whereupon, I made our reservations.

Unfortunately, that celebratory meal validated the catch phrase, “You can’t go home again.” Perhaps that realization will be the subject of a future story. Right now, I have to get working on turning a negative into a positive. Hopefully in a thousand words or fewer.

It’s Not Okay

Near the bottom of the bill was the customary, gentle reminder. That is, how much, in dollars and cents, the tip would be for fifteen, twenty, and twenty-five per cent.

And there it was, staring me in the face. The twenty per cent tip for this meal was about three times as much as we usually tip. Yes, three times as much as we usually tip our favourite waitresses. Ouch, I said to myself as the most obvious of realisations looked me in the eye.

A meal three times our usual meal results in a tip that is likewise three times our usual tip. Duh. I complied with that friendly reminder and left the appropriate dollars and cents for our customary twenty per cent tip.

Over the next several days, I wandered about the house, wincing over this practice that truly made no sense. Was the waitress who placed this upscale meal before us performing her duties three times better than our favourite waitresses? Did she confirm that everything tasted good and top off our water glasses three times better? Did she lift my spirits and warm my heart as do our favourite waitresses? The obvious answer being, no. No, she did not.

And therein I pondered the negative. Is it okay for a waitress in an upscale restaurant to provide equal or lesser service? After all, they will receive a larger tip than a waitress serving a less expensive meal. To be sure, it’s not okay. Likewise, it’s not fair. Ouch, I said to myself, once more.

Equal Pay for Equal Work

Clearly, our favourite waitresses deserve a raise. A raise for which I will be providing my fair share. Clearly, waitstaff in upscale restaurants receive a substantial raise simply because of the price of the meals they serve. As stated before, it’s not okay, and it’s not fair.

Clearly, the criteria for establishing tipping guidelines are more than a little bit wonky. That said, of course, guidelines are merely guidelines. Some customers will follow these guidelines to the letter. Similarly, some will tip more. Some will tip less. And some won’t tip at all.

As for Judy and me, we will tip from our hearts. Not based upon the price of the meal, but based instead upon the level of service. And none do a better job than our favourite waitresses.

I may have to start writing on the ticket, “The meal was fine, and the service was fine. However, I cannot justify a 3X tip for the same service provided for a meal costing a third of the price.” In fact, I just might have this printed onto a small card that I can leave with my signed receipt. Then again, as mentioned earlier, that three-times-the-price splurge seldom lives up to our expectations. Why did we even try to go home in the first place?

In conclusion, there is no better meal than the one that includes a warm smile and awesome service. A warm smile and awesome service like that provided by our favourite waitresses. Especially when we can do so three times for the same price as a single, disappointing splurge.

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