I Am Dying, You Are Dying

A Somber Warning

I take pride in the fact that my stories are typically positive and mostly uplifting. Regrettably, this story took a wrong turn, perhaps in Albuquerque, and strayed a bit from that self-imposed rule. That said, if you are in a positive, uplifting mood, I suggest you reserve this story for another day. If you feel the need to commiserate, perhaps this is the story for you. At least I have warned you. I Am Dying, You Are Dying is a bit of a downer.

When Judy and I moved into our 55+ gated community, we never gave one negative aspect a moment’s consideration. The overlooked reality being, we were moving into a neighborhood full of old people. In fact, some of our new neighbors were very old.

Granted fifty-five is the new thirty-five and when we moved into the park we were just 65ish. Those first few years, we were often teased at being “young pups” or some other similar metaphor. But that was over ten years ago. Since then, we have slowly reached the median. Without a doubt, there are far more years behind us than there are in front of us.

In 2024 sixteen of our neighbors died. In 2025 twenty-three more of our neighbors died. Some of those deaths came as no surprise and some of those deaths came out of left field. I suspect that some knew their “time” had come. Likewise, I suspect that some believed that whatever ailed them was but a bump in the road. Just another ailment they would soon overcome.

I Am Dying

The Unavoidable Reality

In previous years, the death toll was very similar. In any given year, I probably knew about half of the departed on a more than casual basis. That’s a lot of dying in a short amount of time in our small neighborhood.
 
So, what were the circumstances I had not contemplated before moving? Before moving into this small neighborhood full of old people? Unquestionably, the impact their death would have on me. Some I didn’t know very well. Others I didn’t know for very long. And there were those I knew far more about after reading their obituary. 

But all their deaths affected me in ways I had never considered for a moment. It’s harder than you think to prepare oneself for the impact of death. I was far more saddened by their passing than I ever expected I would be. Every one of their deaths reminded me that I, too, am dying. Someday, I, too, will be on one of those lists.
 
Now, it’s easy to dismiss all this death and dying stuff. Especially if you are still in your prime. However, it is up to you to define “your prime.” But the fact remains, the older you get, the more difficult it is to ignore the obvious. You, too, are dying.
 
Then again, age is of little significance. A recent tragic event in Las Cruces makes that fact of life crystal clear. Shooters killed three people and caused grievous injury to fifteen others. These innocent people did nothing wrong. They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. A place and a time that were only known to be wrong after the damages were done.
 

Time Keeps Marching On

For those of us left behind, life goes on. And no, I won’t start reciting the lyrics of a Garth Brooks song. I won’t stay in bed with the blankets pulled over my head. Likewise, I won’t hide in fear. Instead, I will continue living my life much as I have lived my life, every day thus far. Hopefully, with a tad bit more appreciation for all that I am, for all that I have.
 
Nonetheless, sadness fills my heart each time I reflect upon another departed neighbor. I will be grief-stricken each time I learn that someone was in the wrong place at the wrong time. We all should be. Every one of us should be.
 
It helps to write about it. It helps to talk about it. But only just a little bit. The sadness and the pain are, and will always be, ever-present. From time to time, I still miss those who are gone. Neighbors, family members, friends, and sometimes perfect (and maybe even imperfect) strangers. What’s more, something said, or something seen, will once again trigger a memory. And I will mourn their passing one more time. I will weep for their loss one more time.

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